DETROIT, MICHIGAN– While visiting members of the United Auto Workers union on the picket line, President Joe Biden promised the striking workers that he has their backs and will stand up for them in the same way he stands up whenever he’s walking, riding his bike, or coming down the Air Force One steps.
“I remember the time when I was a struggling auto worker,” said Biden in reference to the job he never had. “That’s why I promise you, folks, that I’ll always stand up for you, I’ll never lay down on the job, and I won’t let your voices fall on deaf ears.”
As striking factory workers mumbled amongst themselves in bewilderment at who the angry, old guy was yelling at them, Biden tried walking three feet before falling face-first into the pavement.
Secret Service agents were quick to rush in and arrest the concrete pavement for intentionally tripping Biden and making the president look like a total jackass in front of both the auto workers and millions of people who will be watching the clip later on social media.
“You see that, they don’t call me Scranton Joe for nothing, Jack,” said Biden boastfully, twenty minutes after he finally got back up to his feet. “I told you, boys, I’ll stand up for you even if I’m not actually standing up. Now clap for that, you stupid bastards.”
Democrats praised Biden’s fiery ground-level speech for the way the president humbled himself by getting down onto the pavement to show union workers he was one of the people and for also how quickly he was able to get back up to his feet.
