MONTREAL, CANADA– Canada officials recently announced on Twitter X that they have already begun building a wall along their southern border in the hopes of keeping out all the Hollywood celebrities who promised to leave the United States if Donald Trump won the presidency.
According to Canadian newspaper The Non-American Canadian, 99% of Canadian citizens voted in favor of the wall, going so far as to call for a no-fly zone to stop any illegal celebrities from entering the country by plane.
Some of the top A-List celebrities on the Great White North’s No Fly List include Stephen King, Rosie O’Donnell, Amy Schumer, Lena Dunham, Al Sharpton, Robert De Niro, and George Lopez.
In a brilliant move by the Canadian government, officials were able to get the disgruntled celebrities to actually pay for the border wall by telling them that the money was going to be used to build a safe zone for them and also pay for President Joe Biden’s legal fees.
Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is calling this the Great Wall of Canada, in honor of China who owns 73% of Canada.
“It wasn’t really that difficult to get them to pay for it, eh” laughed Justin Trudeau to CNN Canada news reporters as he raised his adjustable eyebrows. “We have a lot of reflective surfaces in our country. I also told them I was revoking Ted Cruz’s citizenship and sending him back to America, eh.”
When asked by an MSNBC news reporter if he truly intended to send Senator Ted Cruz (R-Texas) back to America, Trudeau batted his long eyelashes and then shook his head.
“Nah, he’s like a scarecrow that acts like a deterrent to anyone else thinking about coming here, eh. I also heard he likes doughnuts.”
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