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Home » U.S. NEWS » Lindsay Clancy Supporters Erect 40-Foot Bronze Altar To Moloch Outside Courthouse

U.S. NEWS

Lindsay Clancy Supporters Erect 40-Foot Bronze Altar To Moloch Outside Courthouse

Daily Soak Staff
Last updated: August 22, 2026 9:30 am
Daily Soak Staff
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Female Lindsay Clancy supporters wearing pink shirts worshipping Moloch outside s courthouse.
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PLYMOUTH, MASSACHUSETTS — The plaza outside the Plymouth County Courthouse took on a distinctively ancient, yet deeply therapeutic atmosphere Friday morning as supporters of Lindsay Clancy unveiled a brand new, 40-foot bronze altar dedicated to the Canaanite god Moloch.

The imposing, fire-bellied statue, historically associated with ancient rituals of child sacrifice, was tastefully adorned with pastel-colored “Live, Laugh, Love” decals and dozens of pink ribbons to raise awareness for maternal mental health.

“Moloch gets such a bad rap from the patriarchy,” explained Ashleigh Vance, a 34-year-old local mom. “When you really dig into ancient Mesopotamian wellness practices, you realize he was actually just holding space for overwhelmed mothers to set strict boundaries. Sometimes, self-care looks like a bubble bath; sometimes, it looks like a towering bronze furnace sacrificing babies. We need to stop stigmatizing women’s journeys.”

The crowd of supporters, made up of mostly liberal white women, spent the morning chanting Aramaic incantations while filming TikTok “Get Ready With Me” videos in the warm, ambient glow of the altar’s eternal flames.

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At publishing time, a minor schism had broken out among the supporters after a faction of vegan moms pointed out that traditional Moloch rituals were not plant-based. The group has temporarily paused their demonstrations to hold a three-hour struggle session on how to make ancient child-sacrifice rituals more cruelty-free and carbon-neutral.

⚠️ This highly acclaimed article is satire.

TAGGED:CrimeLiberalRated PG

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