NASHVILLE, TENNESSEE– Millions of people were overjoyed this week when the infamous Jeffrey Epstein case had finally come to a close, following The Daily Wire host Ben Shapiro promising on his show that the supposed billionaire convicted child trafficker was actually “a good boy who didn’t do nothing wrong.”
On his latest program, Ben Shapiro declared that the Department of Justice was an honest agency being led by hardworking Attorney General Pam Bondi, further solidifying his claim that there were never any Epstein files, client list, murders, pedophilia, or blackmail due to the fact that Mr. Jeffrey Epstein was an upstanding citizen who was only targeted by white supremacist, anti-Semitic cops because he was a nice Jewish man who spent time feeding the poor and attending church services.
“Read my lips: Jeffrey Epstein was a good boy who didn’t do nothing wrong,” said Shapiro as an unaltered image of Epstein with a halo over his head flashed on a screen behind him. “Let’s put this wild conspiracy to rest right now. There are no Epstein files, no client lists, and no sex crimes. That’s it. You have me word. Case closed. You’re welcome.”
Shapiro promised that Epstein wasn’t involved in any crimes and backed up his claim with evidence by claiming he “means what he says and says what he means.” After placing pink hair rollers on his head, Shapiro went on to say, “My boy Jeffrey, he was a good boy.”
Later, Attorney General Pam Bondi gave her 6,669th Fox News interview where she reiterated Shapiro’s proof that Epstein was in fact “a good boy.”
