NASHVILLE, TENNESSEE– Numerous employees of conservative media outlet The Daily Wire were reportedly getting worried about their coworker Ben Shapiro after saying he was last seen locking himself inside of his studio with a bottle of lotion and a box of tissues while watching the recent bombing of Iran.
With tissues and lotion in hand, Ben Shapiro told personnel that he didn’t want to be bothered for the next few hours because he would be busy inside of his studio taking care of personal business.
“Yeah, I, um, want to be left alone for a little while,” said Ben Shapiro as he unbuttoned his shirt. “Look, just do me a favor while I’m, uh, inside of my office, um, shaving, yeah that’s it. Hold all my calls and don’t knock on my door. And if you hear any weird sounds in here, don’t worry, that’s just me practicing my morning yoga.”
While a constant loop of the bombing of Iran played on a big screen television inside of his dark studio, Shapiro said goodbye to his coworkers before closing the door behind him for some private study time.
At publishing time, sources claimed that Shapiro was still hidden inside of his office and was said to have only made contact with his doctor wife to tell her to get in the mood for something special whenever he decides to come home.
