LONDON — Newly installed UK Prime Minister Andy Burnham announced Sunday that he will be dropping the final three letters of his surname in an effort to demonstrate greater cultural sensitivity and win back Muslim voters who may have been offended by the presence of “ham” in the name of the nation’s leader.
Burnham, who will henceforth be known simply as Andy Burn, reportedly made the decision after government advisers warned him that retaining “ham” could send the wrong message to Muslim communities across Britain. The newly styled Prime Minister explained that retaining a cured pork product in his family name had become an intolerable barrier to interfaith harmony.
“For far too long, my surname has forced millions of British Muslims to mentally digest non-halal terminology every time they read the news,” Andy Burn announced. “As a leader committed to progressive inclusion, I can no longer ask voters to support a government headed by a man named after processed pork. I am truly sorry for any distress I may have caused our mostly peaceful Islamic community.”
Sources inside the government said an emergency meeting was held after one adviser pointed out that millions of people currently live in the city Birmingham, a name that contains what officials described as “a potentially problematic pork reference.”
Meanwhile, Downing Street catering staff have reportedly been instructed to review all sandwiches served at official government functions to ensure that no guest is accidentally exposed to an unexpected ham-related incident.
Sources say ham sandwiches have already been moved to a “historically sensitive foods” section of the kitchen.
