WASHINGTON — Former Congressman Ron Paul returned from retirement Thursday to chain himself to the U.S. Treasury Department in an attempt to prevent President Donald Trump from distributing his proposed $5,000 “Trump Dividend” to American adults if Republicans retain control of Congress in November.
Armed with a heavily highlighted pocket Constitution, the former Texas congressman declared he would not unchain his body from the Automated Clearing House (ACH) mainframe until the government promises to “stop typing fake money into existence.”
“I have spent most of my adult life warning people that you cannot simply create trillions of dollars and hand it to everyone,” Ron Paul told reporters while securing himself to a large government computer terminal. “You cannot just Ctrl+P $1.35 trillion of unbacked fiat into the economy so people can buy more plastic garbage.”
Paul, a longtime critic of federal spending, government debt, monetary policy and the Federal Reserve, reportedly arrived at the Treasury carrying a heavy chain, a padlock engraved with the words “AUDIT THE FED,” and a calculator displaying a number too large for him to finish entering.
At press time, the White House attempted to de-escalate the situation, with President Trump calling Paul on a secure line to negotiate, offering to send the former congressman a commemorative, gold-plated “Trump 2026” coin if he unlocked himself.
