WASHINGTON– After news broke that the Trump administration was preparing to bring in highly talented H-1B workers to replace untrained Amercians, the U.S. Congress has introduced the H-1B Toilet Training Act, mandating all visa applicants to undergo rigorous potty training before entering the country.
With almost 80 % of H-1B visa applicants being from India, the bill comes after a surge in reports of Indian tech workers defecating in office hallways, parking garages, and even on the steps of the Capitol Building.
The bill’s sponsor Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA) cited “national hygiene concerns,” arguing that this novel approach will ensure a more “culturally aligned and sanitation-conscious workforce.”
“Our streets are not sewers, and our parks are not toilets,” Greene said during a press conference. “It’s a biohazard and an affront to our American values. If an H-1B worker wants to come to the United States then we can’t have them pooping outside and everywhere except in a toilet.”
The mandatory training program, dubbed “Toilet 101,” will include lectures on proper toilet hygiene, hands-on practice with Western-style commodes, and a final exam requiring applicants to successfully use a real toilet to poop into instead of a local street, sidewalk, or beach. Failure to pass will result in immediate deportation and a 5-year ban from reapplying to enter into the United States.
Critics have labeled the bill “racist” and “xenophobic,” with Vivek Ramaswamy saying flooding millions of immigrants into the country who poop everywhere is worth it to actually have highly-skilled, intelligent workers to do the jobs that Americans are too stupid and lazy to do.
The Indian government has threatened to retaliate against the racist stereotype by inundating the Capitol Building with millions of Windows tech support scam calls.
