TEHRAN, IRAN — In a move officials are calling innovative and cost-effective, President Donald Trump has reportedly dispatched JD Vance to negotiate with Iranian leadership using a sock puppet of Trump himself.
According to the State Department, the strategy emerged after Iran signaled it preferred negotiating with Vance over other envoys, creating what Trump reportedly called “a perfect opportunity to also still be the main character.”
Seated across from Iranian officials, JD Vance raised his right hand and used Puppet Trump to begin the talks.
“Hello, it’s me, President Donald Trump,” Vance said with tight lips, moving the puppet’s mouth while staring intensely at the table. “We’re going to make a tremendous deal. Possibly the best deal a sock has ever made.”
Iranian leadership initially attempted to engage diplomatically before slowly realizing they weren’t actually negotiating with the president.
The White House defended its decision to send Puppet Trump, saying this way President Trump could be technically present at the negotiations, but also would not be legally responsible for anything the puppet promises.
