U.S. — Millions of Americans gathered Monday to observe this year’s “Hillary And Kamala Still Not Presidents Day” federal holiday, a solemn yet deeply joyous event honoring candidates who came close enough to taste the executive office but not close enough to read their acceptance speeches.
The holiday honors how close America came to having a miserable cackling woman as president of the United States, with citizens reflecting on how horrible it may have been had the outcomes been a little different.
“This holiday is about celebrating the United States dodging a bullet, not once, but twice,” said a woman holding a “Still Not My Presidents Day” flag. “This also teaches our kids that any one can grow up to run for president just like Hillary Clinton did and still lose twice, Once to a black man, and once to an orange man.”
President Trump took to Truth Social at 3 AM to officially commemorate what he called, “The greatest holiday in the history of our country.”
“Happy ‘Hillary And Kamala Still Not Presidents Day’,” wrote Trump in his post. “Congratulations to the American people on their narrow escape from the two biggest cacklers in history. You can all thank me, yours truly, for delivering the greatest back-to-back victories of all time. It was the ultimate public service and truly an honor to end the careers of both women.”
