PALM BEACH COUNTY, FLORIDA– Nine months after letting the world see for themselves what a wonderful job Joe Biden has done as president, President Donald Trump announces he’s launched a new social media company with its own social media platform called Facebook And Twitter Can Kiss My Orange Ass Social.
Trump says his only goal in launching the Facebook And Twitter Can Kiss My Orange Ass Social network was to simply force mainstream news media and big tech to have to say the name repeatedly whenever reporting on his new platform.
“Did you see crying Jack Dorsey on CNN last night choking up every time he mentioned my new social media platform’s name?” Trump said with a smirk to reporters outside his Office of the Former President in Florida. “Just wait till crying Jack tries logging onto my site and gets denied with the ‘kiss my orange ass’ error message. After about a week he’ll be begging me to come back to Twitter.”
Trump said he had to pay a lot of money to be able to use the names ‘Twitter’ and ‘Facebook’ in the name of his network, but he claims it was worth every penny.
“My new social media site will be the greatest site ever created,” Trump boasted. “It’s almost as if God himself came down and built my platform because it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”
In addition to launching his own Facebook And Twitter Can Kiss My Orange Ass Social media site, Trump says he’s also planning on releasing a Facebook And Twitter Can Kiss My Orange Ass Social app, a Facebook And Twitter Can Kiss My Orange Ass Social video-on-demand service, and is starting a new anti-big tech political party dubbed Facebook And Twitter Can Kiss My Orange Ass America First Party.
