WASHINGTON– Republicans in Congress came out of hiding Wednesday to give Fox News reporters a statement regarding their almost unanimous decision to propose adding the international chant “Let’s go Brandon” to the United States Constitution.
The viral phrase gained momentum after President Joe Biden mistakenly called his son Hunter by the wrong name when he kicked him down a flight of stairs, yelling “Let’s go Brandon!”
Texas Senator Ted Cruz gave a lengthy thirty second interview to Fox News host Tucker Carlson about the Republicans proposed amendment to make ‘Let’s go Brandon’ the country’s national anthem.
“This is not a partisan issue, Tucker,” Cruz said with fire in his loins. “We’ve reached across the aisle and have been in talks with many top Democrats who told me off the record that they too have been chanting ‘Let’s go Brandon’ as soon as President Biden leaves the room or falls asleep in his chair. The only way to unify this great country is for all of us to come together in our hatred for the president.”
When Tucker Carlson grilled him about why he’s pushing for such an anti-Biden amendment right after he slept over the president’s house this weekend in a political pajama and pizza party, Cruz held his ground by spouting off a few nonsensical lawyer words in an effort to confuse the average Fox News viewer into forgetting the original question.
“This acquittal of inadmissible burden of proof deposition has no standing,” Cruz said as he shook his finger at the camera convincingly. “An equitable habeas corpus for exculpatory evidence is a nolo contendere of justice. I object to the plaintiff’s line of questioning and move for parole. Case dismissed, your Honor.”
Are the Republicans actually doing someething? Oh wait, it’s just satire.