MUNICH, GERMANY — After arriving at the 62nd Munich Security Conference, Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (AOC) announced that she had completed her foreign policy preparation this week by watching the 2004 puppet action comedy Team America: World Police, later claiming she now feels “extremely, extremely geopolitically literate.”
According to aides, the Congresswoman spent two weeks diligently studying what she believed were highly classified, incredibly realistic geopolitical simulations in the puppet comedy film, writing down pertinent movie phrases to use in her speech like “If you betray us, I’ll rip your fuckin’ balls off,” “Surprise, cockfags,” and “I repeat, we have no I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E.!.”
“I’m, like, totally an expert now on that geopolitical stuff,” AOC told reporters, proud of her Munich appearance. “I studied this classified training documentary called Team America, and honestly, um, like it covered everything you need to know about foreign policy, regime change, coalition building, cultural sensitivity, and it even had these cute theme songs.”
When asked if one comedy film was sufficient preparation for complex global conflict, AOC appeared puzzled by the question, asking, “What do you mean comedy film?”
At press time, AOC confirmed she was advancing to her graduate level foreign policy studies by watching British spy movie Johnny English at 1.5x speed.
