Luke Skywalker Posts Heartfelt Father’s Day Tribute To Man Who Cut Off His Hand
AHCH-TO — In a touching Father's Day social media post Sunday, Jedi…
Galactic Inflation Hits Hard As Single Portion Of Blue Milk Now Costs 45 Credits
MOS EISLEY, TATOOINE — Families across the Outer Rim are waking up…
King Charles Presents Trump With Gift Of Keir Starmer Frozen In Carbonite
WASHINGTON — In a grand gesture aimed at reaffirming the Special Relationship…
Trump Sends Steven Seagal To Singlehandedly Defeat Entire Iranian Military, Assures War Will End Before Credits Roll
WASHINGTON — Expressing frustration with the slow pacing and boring dialogue of…
Oscars Add New Category For Best Performance Replacing White Character In Hollywood Remake
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA — Viewers tuning into Sunday night’s Academy Awards were…
AOC Prepares For Munich Foreign Policy Conference By Watching ‘Team America: World Police’
MUNICH, GERMANY — After arriving at the 62nd Munich Security Conference, Representative…
Congress Holds Epstein’s Pilot In Contempt For Refusing To Answer Any Questions
WASHINGTON — A tense congressional hearing erupted into outrage Thursday after Congress…
Nolan Announces Sequel ‘Odyssey 2: Electric Boogaloo’ Starring Megan Thee Stallion As Twerking Achilles
HOLLYWOOD — Director Christopher Nolan has officially greenlit Odyssey 2: Electric Boogaloo, the…
Celebrities Declare ‘Democracy Dead’ After Being Forced To Vacuum Own Homes Following Deportations
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA — Democracy itself was pronounced officially "dead" Thursday after…
UK Sends Elite Soldier To Defend Greenland Against The US
NUUK, GREENLAND. In what British officials described as a clear demonstration of…
Celebrities Host 10th Annual ‘I’m Moving To Canada If Trump Becomes President’ Gala
BEVERLY HILLS, CALIFORNIA-- Fresh off last night’s Golden Globes ceremony, Hollywood’s most…
Planet Fitness Names Transgender Serial Killer Buffalo Bill As Gym Ambassador Of The Year
WELLINGTON, NH-- In a move corporate spokespeople are calling strategically inclusive, Planet…