Scarecrow Elected Head Of Democrat Party In Landslide
WASHINGTON-- In an effort to turn the struggling Democrat Party around, the…
Emperor Palpatine Demands Luke Skywalker Kiss Death Star Wall To Show His Fealty
CORUSCANT, GALACTIC EMPIRE-- In order to ensure the unwavering loyalty of all…
Dallas ICE Shooter With Terrible Aim Revealed As Stormtrooper
DALLAS. TEXAS-- Only hours after the incident occurred, authorities have confirmed that…
Trump Watches ‘Rocky IV’ In Preparation For Upcoming Alaska Meeting With Putin
WASHINGTON-- In preparation for his upcoming high-stakes summit with Russian President Vladimir…
CNN Reports Japanese Police Searching For White Male Who Destroyed Tokyo
TOKYO, JAPAN-- In a journalistic twist that almost everyone saw coming, America's…
FBI Asks Everyone To Stare At Bright Memory-Eraser Stick Before Claiming Jeffrey Epstein Never Existed
WASHINGTON-- In response to the millions of angry Americans still calling for…
Emperor Palpatine Calls For Peace After Death Star Blows Up Alderaan
CORE WORLDS-- After blowing up the planet Alderaan, Emperor Palpatine took to…
Democrats Fight To Get ‘Maryland Man’ Hannibal Lecter Released From Prison
BALTIMORE, MARYLAND-- Democrats are mad as hell and fighting hard to get…
Avengers Mistakenly Add Thanos To Group Chat Discussing Retrieving The Infinity Stones
U.S.-- The Avengers have been embroiled in a massive scandal this week…
Exasperated Dwarves Invite Insufferable Snow White Paddleboarding With Obama
MARTHA'S VINEYARD-- At their wits end and left with no other options,…
Amazon UK Announces New James Bond Will Remain A British Male
UNITED KINGDOM-- Amazon released a statement recently to announce some good news…
Canada Government Responds To Tariffs By Face Swapping All American Actors In Movies With Seth Rogen
OTTAWA, CANADA-- In response to the tariffs levied by United States President…