BALTIMORE, MARYLAND– Democrats are mad as hell and fighting hard to get infamous cannibalistic serial killer Dr. Hannibal Lecter released from prison and are accusing Republicans of playing politics by being too hard on the prisoner who only killed forty-five people.
Angry Democrat Senators went down to the Baltimore, Maryland prison where Hannibal Lecter was being held to make sure the “Maryland Man” was okay and to call for his immediate release back out into the public.
“Hannibal Lecter is an innocent family man,” said Maryland Senator Chris Van Hollen, standing in front of the high security prison cell where the cannibal was being held. “Dr. Lecter was wrongfully imprisoned just because he peacefully killed and ate almost fifty people. I mean, come on, who hasn’t eaten at least one human in their life? Am I right?”
While the Democrat senators begged prison guards to open Lecter’s cage so that they could be face-to-face with him to make sure he was okay, New York Representative AOC stood in front of Hannibal’s prison cell and cried at how inhumane President Donald Trump was for keeping the cannibal locked up inside of a cage like an animal.
Only hours after a federal judge ruled that Hannibal Lecter must be released from prison and then placed under the care of Democrat leadership, Hannibal asked the judge for leniency by begging to be placed back into prison. Apparently being sentenced to a life surrounded by Democrats was even too much for a sadistic cannibal.
