UNITED KINGDOM– Amazon released a statement recently to announce some good news regarding their new James Bond film franchise, revealing that the 007 secret agent in the new films will remain a British male and will be played by an illegal alien Pakistani Muslim actor named Jafaar Banoori who was brought in recently by the Keir Starmer administration.
Recently, Amazon purchased the rights to the James Bond film franchise for over $1 Billion, but said they wanted to try to stay as close to the orginal character as possible, other than giving 007 a few minor tweaks.
Amazon studios had put out a poll several months ago asking James Bond fans if the 007 character should remain a British male, with almost 100% of respondents agreeing that Bond should be a real British man.
“We heard you, and we listened,” said Amazon spokesperson Benjamin McGoldberg to UK news reporters. “Millions of fans told us that James Bond should remain a British man, so we wanted to stay as close to the original MI6 agent as possible. Our casting agents found our new James Bond Mr. Jafaar Banoori after he tried stabbing them as they walked through London. We immediately knew that with Jafaar’s tough fierceness he was the right guy for the part.”
Producers said they haven’t picked the Bond villain as of this writing, but hinted that it would definitely be a straight, white, Christian male.
