WASHINGTON– Former President Barack Obama penned a beautiful statement on Medium addressing all the peaceful protesters who took to the streets to loot and vandalize destructively, saying those thousands of non-violent people could have been his sons.
Obama began his heartfelt message with a moving quote from peace-loving activist Joseph Stalin, writing, “The death of one man is a tragedy. The death of millions is a statistic.”
Thousands of quiet and composed people burned down buildings and ransacked businesses, prompting the sympathetic Obama to reflect on his own life and respectable family lineage.
“When the first protester threw a Molotov cocktail, I said that this could have been my son,” Obama wrote in the compassionate op-ed piece, which included photos of him and his countless sons. “Another way of saying that is the thousands of protesters could have been me 35 years ago.”
Numerous high-profile journalists took to Twitter to praise the former president’s positive response to the tranquil nationwide riots, saying that Obama’s op-ed may earn him another Nobel Peace Prize or possibly even divinity.
In between all the peaceful rioting, one of Obama’s protester sons dressed in a mask and black shirt with the words “Death To America” on it stopped to speak to media outlets to thank whoever this guy Obama was and to remind everyone that he’s silently protesting the death of some man that died somewhere.
“Yeah sure, I’m doing this for the Christopher Lloyd guy,” the unidentified protester said heatedly to CNN news reporters, referring to George Floyd. “I’m burning down these random businesses because I’m sick of living in such a violent, Fascist country, man.”
The unnamed protester went on to scream that he doesn’t have anything to do with all the fake protesters who are quietly standing united while holding up signs, saying they’re making him look bad.
