TRENTON, NEW JERSEY– Due to deplorable ticket sales for their countrywide speaking tour, Bill and Hillary Clinton have taken a more modern approach by switching their gender roles. The Clintons also believe the role swap will help them to relate better with the much younger over 60 crowd.
When the speaking tour first kicked off, the Clintons were charging as high as $10,000 per ticket, but within two days the price had already dropped to $50.
In an effort to boost lagging sales, organizers quickly slashed prices and tickets are currently going for $WE PAY YOU! That’s when the former president and former first lady decided to undergo extensive gender reassignment, such as exchanging each other’s makeup and underwear.
“Hill’s boxers are a little loose on me,” Bill Clinton joked as the crowd of folding chairs finally started warming up to the Clinton’s new identities.
The Clintons also expressed outrage at the price of gasoline in New Jersey, with some parts of the state seeing gas going for $69 a gallon.
“This’s Trump’s fault,” Hillary Clinton stated during her last speech while wearing a $19.99 men’s suit jacket. “The governor of New Jersey had no choice but to raise gas prices to such an astronomical level due to Mr. Trump’s excessive refusal to obey the rules of this country.”
After struggling to find an audience, the Clintons finally managed to get a large flock of anti-Trump seagulls to fill five seats of the auditorium.
While Hillary Clinton promised to get the seagulls voting rights, Bill Clinton made sexual advances at himself after he caught a glimpse of his feminine appearance in a nearby mirror.
