AUGUSTA, MAINE — Democratic leaders across the country stressed Friday that Maine Senate candidate Graham Platner’s decision to suspend his campaign was made entirely of his own free will following a completely voluntary series of urgent phone calls, emergency meetings, withdrawn endorsements, and increasingly direct suggestions that he should immediately suspend his campaign.
In fact, party leaders insisted Platner’s exit was just as spontaneous and voluntary as President Joe Biden’s decision to end his re-election campaign.
“Nobody forced Graham Platner to do anything,” Senator Chuck Schumer assured reporters. “He simply reached the exact same conclusion that every Democratic elected official, donor, consultant, strategist, volunteer, and guy holding the campaign coffee had independently reached several hours earlier.”
To further demonstrate the campaign’s independence, Platner was reportedly invited to draft his own announcement using one of three pre-approved resignation templates already prepared by party communications staff.
At press time, Democratic leaders were applauding Platner’s courage for independently reaching the conclusion they had already announced on cable news.
