Somalis Quickly Surrender After ICE Threatens To Hand Them Over To Screeching Liberal White Women
MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA-- During a recent immigration raid in Minnesota, dozens of illegal…
Somali Parents Evict Lazy Son For Failing To Launch A Single Federal Fraud Scheme
MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA-- Furious and deeply disappointed Somali parents reportedly evicted their 26-year-old…
Tim Walz Burns Down Minnesota State Archives In Desperate Bid To Erase Evidence
ST. PAUL, MINNESOTA-- As the walls of justice continue closing in, Minnesota…
Planet Fitness Names Transgender Serial Killer Buffalo Bill As Gym Ambassador Of The Year
WELLINGTON, NH-- In a move corporate spokespeople are calling strategically inclusive, Planet…
Afghanistan Dating App: Find True Love
(PARODY) Commercial for Afghanistan's all-new dating app, the premier dating app for…
New California Mandate Requires ID To Prove You Are Under 12 Before Purchasing Tobacco
SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA-- California officials announced a sweeping new public health mandate this…
Ilhan Omar Furious After Catching Brother With Another Sister
MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA-- Minnesota Congresswoman Ilhan Omar was reportedly livid Wednesday evening after…
Trump Orders Airstrikes On Nigeria After Finally Snapping Over Nigerian Scam Emails
WASHINGTON-- The White House confirmed that President Donald Trump authorized targeted airstrikes…
UK Police Charge Santa With Hate Crime After Being Stabbed In London
LONDON, UK-- British police confirmed Thursday that Santa Claus has been formally…
Immigrants In Canada Demand Warmer Sidewalks For Outdoor Pooping
TORONTO, CANADA-- A group representing Canada’s Indian immigrant community has filed a…
Chuck Schumer Hisses And Recoils In Agony After Staffer Wishes Him ‘Merry Christmas’
WASHINGTON-- Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer reportedly emitted a low, animalistic hiss…
Pfizer Says Vaccines Would Be More Effective If People Stopped Having Side Effects
NEW YORK-- Pharmaceutical giant Pfizer released a statement Thursday clarifying that its…