Nervous Fauci Calms Himself By Imagining Rand Paul As A Beagle Getting Bitten By Sandflies
WASHINGTON — Facing another brutal, three-hour interrogation from the House Oversight Committee,…
CNN Warns Mass Haitian Deportations Will Cause Humanitarian Crisis Due To Shortage Of Cats To Eat
ATLANTA, GEORGIA — Following the Supreme Court's recent decision allowing the Trump…
Bombshell Fauci Diary Reveals The Hardest Part Of Fighting COVID Was Fending Off Biden In The Shower
WASHINGTON — After years of stonewalling, the House Oversight Committee finally released…
James Talarico Tries To Win The Black Vote By Looting Local Shoe Store
HOUSTON, TEXAS — In a desperate bid to salvage his collapsing poll…
German Leaders Praise Terrorist Suspect For Ramming Pride Attendees Rather Than Throwing Them Off Rooftops
BERLIN, GERMANY — In a stunning display of progressive optimism following Saturday’s…
Keir Starmer Steps Down As Prime Minister To Spend More Time With His Local Grooming Gang
LONDON, UK — Bringing an end to one of the least popular…
UK Police Detain Suspicious Man For Going Entire Week Without Being Stabbed
LONDON, UK — The Metropolitan Police confirmed that officers have arrested a…
EU Solves Objectification Of Female Athletes By Mandating Progressive, Full-Body Burkas
BRUSSELS — Building upon recent European Broadcasting Union guidelines aimed at eliminating…
Mayor Mamdani Condemns Church Arsonists For Not Using Halal Matches
NEW YORK—Responding to yet another church fire this week, Mayor Mamdani held…
Graham Platner Comes Forward To Accuse Graham Platner Of Sexual Assault
ELLSWORTH, MAINE — Calling it the most difficult decision of his life,…
British Man Charged With Assault After Bruising Attacker’s Knuckles With His Face
LONDON — In a stunning display of modern, progressive crowd control, the…
Tearful Mark Carney Uses Canada Day Address To Thank Millions Of Indian Immigrants For Replacing Nation’s White People
OTTAWA, ONTARIO — Wiping away tears during a deeply emotional, nationally televised…