Chicago Observes Memorial Day By Honoring Brave Gang Members Who Gave Their Lives Defending The Block
CHICAGO, ILLINOIS — As millions of Americans paused Monday to honor the…
Mark Carney Honors Obama Visit With Drone Strikes On Canadian Civilians
OTTAWA, CANADA — In a touching diplomatic tribute designed to make the…
UK Stabbing Victim Accused Of Distressing Migrant Attacker By Trying To Stop Attack
LONDON, UK — Expressing deep disappointment over a flagrant breach of modern…
Ed Gallrein Assures Voters He Only Followed OnlyFans Model To Keep An Eye On The ‘Moral Decay Of America’
HEBRON, KENTUCKY — Facing intense scrutiny just as voters head to the…
European Union Apologizes To Car-Ramming Terrorist For Dents Left In His Rental Vehicle By Civilians
BRUSSELS — In a globally televised press conference Sunday morning, top officials…
King Charles Assures Migrants Digital ID Will Only Be Used Against White British Citizens
LONDON, UK — Seeking to soothe the anxieties of the the millions…
Dr. Fauci Insists Hantavirus Vaccine Requires Conducting Highly Painful Experiments On Beagles
BETHESDA, MARYLAND — Saying he just couldn't sit on the sidelines while…
Arsonists Of America Endorse Karen Bass For L.A. Mayor
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA — Citing her inspiringly hands-off approach to combustion, the…
Local Canada Goose Disgusted Watching Immigrant Poop On Toronto Beach
TORONTO, ONTARIO — Staring in disgusted silence as an immigrant squatted and…
Gavin Newsom’s Tough Guy Photo Op Undermined By Extremely Gay Power Tool Stance
SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA — Governor Gavin Newsom’s choreographed photo opportunity at a California…
Laid-Off Spirit Airlines Employee Finds Comforting, Familiar Threat Of Physical Violence At New Waffle House Job
ATLANTA, GEORGIA —Following the official permanent grounding of Spirit Airlines last week,…
Secret Service Replaces Range Targets With Photos Of Fellow Agents After Realizing It’s The Only Thing They Can Consistently Hit
WASHINGTON — Following a series of incidents in which multiple agents shot…