Kamala Harris Holds Her Own State Of The Union To Liquor Cabinet Members Jack Daniel’s, Jim Beam, And Jose Cuervo
WASHINGTON—Refusing to let a crushing electoral defeat silence her voice, former Vice…
Trump Kicks Off State Of The Union By Waterboarding CNN Reporter
WASHINGTON—President Donald Trump opened his 2026 State of the Union address Tuesday…
Keir Starmer Appoints Grooming Gang Expert Prince Andrew To Lead Inquiry Into Rape Gangs
LONDON, UK — After months of mounting public pressure, Prime Minister Keir…
CNN Investigates Alarming Absence Of Black Crows In Predominantly White Seagull Beach Communities
ATLANTA, GEORGIA— CNN's investigative unit has uncovered a troubling lack of avian…
Mayor Mamdani Goes Door-To-Door Checking Under Floorboards For Hidden Dogs
NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK — Mayor Zohran Mamdani announced a citywide…
AOC Prepares For Munich Foreign Policy Conference By Watching ‘Team America: World Police’
MUNICH, GERMANY — After arriving at the 62nd Munich Security Conference, Representative…
Mark Carney Prevents Future Trans School Shootings By Banning All Canada Schools
OTTAWA, CANADA — In a move hailed by the Liberal government as…
Pam Bondi Narrowly Prevents Any Epstein Clients From Facing Justice
WASHINGTON — In a display of breathtaking legal gymnastics, U.S. Attorney General…
Bad Bunny Super Bowl Halftime Show Performance To Feature California Homeless Fentanyl Addicts As Backup Dancers
SANTA CLARA, CALIFORNIA —In a groundbreaking move to celebrate authentic California diversity,…
Democrats Vow To Counter Trump’s Obama Meme By Running Racist Biden Again
WASHINGTON — After condemning a controversial meme video shared by President Donald…
Keir Starmer Resigns, Announces He’s Been Replaced By His Sister Keira Starmer
LONDON, UK — In a dramatic and completely serious press conference, UK…
Mitch McConnell Refuses Retirement, Announces Senate Career Will Continue As Desk-Mounted Brain
WASHINGTON — After doctors confirmed his body could no longer reliably perform…