WASHINGTON—Calling her the best friend the predator class has ever had, the nation’s wealthiest and most connected pedophiles issued a formal “Sorry to See You Go” card to former Attorney General Pam Bondi, hours after President Trump abruptly fired her from the post she held since last year.
During her brief time at the Justice Department, Pam Bondi never investigated any cases of elite pedophiles, private island enthusiasts, and billionaires, all who are absolutely devastated to see the departure of the most delightfully inactive top cop in American history.
“Pam Bondi was, without a doubt, the best Attorney General we ever had,” sobbed one anonymous hedge fund manager, identified on several unreleased Epstein flight logs. “She had the entire Epstein client list on her desk for over a year without doing anything and still managed to go on Fox News every night talking about accountability and how no one’s above the law. That’s talent.“
The card thanked Bondi for all the times she covered for them by refusing to launch any investigations or even make one arrest, writing that her lack of follow-through was refreshing.
When reached for comment regarding the outpouring of support from the pedophile elite and the anger of the American people who wanted her gone, Bondi said she would explain it all tonight on Fox News with Sean Hannity.
