AOC Livestreams Herself Beginning Egg-Freezing Process By Swallowing Three Bags Of Ice Cubes
WASHINGTON — Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (AOC) took to Instagram Live this weekend…
Congress Finally Reaches Bipartisan Agreement To Ignore Voters
WASHINGTON — In a rare display of bipartisan cooperation, congressional Republicans and…
Mamdani Labels Grocery ID Critics ‘Grocery Fraud Deniers’
NEW YORK, NEW YORK — Declaring that democracy begins in the produce…
Trump Asks Siri If He’s Currently At War With Iran
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump paused a meeting inside the Oval Office…
Doctors Say Mitch McConnell Making Steady Recovery From Being Dead
WASHINGTON — In an effort to dispel mounting conspiracy theories regarding the…
Nervous Fauci Calms Himself By Imagining Rand Paul As A Beagle Getting Bitten By Sandflies
WASHINGTON — Facing another brutal, three-hour interrogation from the House Oversight Committee,…
Awkward Moment As Zelensky And Netanyahu Simultaneously Reach For Trump’s Wallet
WASHINGTON — What began as a routine diplomatic greeting at the White House…
Bombshell Fauci Diary Reveals The Hardest Part Of Fighting COVID Was Fending Off Biden In The Shower
WASHINGTON — After years of stonewalling, the House Oversight Committee finally released…
James Talarico Tries To Win The Black Vote By Looting Local Shoe Store
HOUSTON, TEXAS — In a desperate bid to salvage his collapsing poll…
Ilhan Omar Argues Embezzling $250 Million Was Victimless Crime Since Kids Were Made Up Anyway
MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA — Standing before a crowded press pool on Friday, Representative…
RFK Jr. Discovered Sleeping Upside Down On White House Ceiling To Improve Circulation
WASHINGTON — White House officials confirmed that Health and Human Services Secretary…
Democrats Vow To Protect Democracy By Making Future Voter Fraud Impossible To Detect
TRENTON, NEW JERSEY — Following the horrifying revelation that a New Jersey…
