To Correct Historical Inequity, Mamdani Demands Half The 9/11 Memorial Be Dedicated To The Hijackers
NEW YORK, NEW YORK — Addressing escalating friction with victims’ families ahead…
Mitch McConnell Takes Labor Day Off From Being Dead
WASHINGTON — After working tirelessly around the clock to appear fully deceased…
Trump Escalates Trade War By Shrinking Canada By 50% On All U.S. Maps
WASHINGTON — In a dramatic escalation in the growing trade war with Canada,…
Kash Patel Lures Eric Swalwell Out Of Hiding By Dressing As Chinese Prostitute
SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA — After weeks of struggling to locate former Rep.…
AOC Weeps Outside Empty Minnesota Daycare Over Thousands Of Imaginary Somali Children Being Deported
MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA — During an emotional press conference Friday outside an empty…
AOC Breaks Up With Fiancé, Gently Suggests They Should ‘Both See Other Men’
WASHINGTON — In a bittersweet end to a long-term political romance, Rep.…
Newsom Spotted Committing Crimes In Florida To Sabotage DeSantis’ Record-Low Crime Rate
TALLAHASSEE, FLORIDA — Florida authorities were reportedly baffled Wednesday after Governor Gavin…
Congress Condemns Reduced Vaccine Schedule For Threatening Health Of Their Stock Portfolios
WASHINGTON — Members of Congress expressed grave concern Monday over the Trump administration’s…
Abdul El-Sayed Spotted Casually Trying On Several Tactical Vests
DEARBORN, MICHIGAN — Michigan Senate candidate Abdul El-Sayed was spotted at a…
AOC Livestreams Herself Beginning Egg-Freezing Process By Swallowing Three Bags Of Ice Cubes
WASHINGTON — Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (AOC) took to Instagram Live this weekend…
Congress Finally Reaches Bipartisan Agreement To Ignore Voters
WASHINGTON — In a rare display of bipartisan cooperation, congressional Republicans and…
Mamdani Labels Grocery ID Critics ‘Grocery Fraud Deniers’
NEW YORK, NEW YORK — Declaring that democracy begins in the produce…
