NYPD Police Beat And Arrest Man Inside Home For Using Russian Salad Dressing
NEW YORK, NEW YORK-- A New York man was forcibly arrested inside his home Saturday after a neighbor reported him for allegedly using Russian salad dressing on his lunch, which…
Biden Administration Really Sticks It To Russia By Letting American People Starve To Death
WASHINGTON-- The Biden Administration has informed US citizens that the best way to get back at Russia and teach them a lesson is to take everything away from the American…
Urgent: White House Confirms Russia Responsible For Biden Pooping His Pants
WASHINGTON-- The White House has issued an emergency statement saying that the Russians have hacked President Joe Biden's colon causing him to crap his pants on multiple occasions, according to…
Banks Set Up Satellite Offices At Gas Stations For People To Take Out Loans To Pay For Gas
U.S.-- Major banking institutions have been setting up satellite offices at gas stations across the United States for customers who would like to take out loans to help them pay…
Russia Hires Actor Steven Seagal To Defeat Entire Ukrainian Army In Less Than Two Hours
MOSCOW, RUSSIA-- President Vladimir Putin of Russia has recently hired Hollywood actor Steven Seagal to use his world-class martial arts skills to easily defeat the entire Ukrainian army in less…
Gas Prices Are So High Even Biden’s Putting ‘I Did That’ Stickers On Gas Pumps
WASHINGTON-- Gas prices within the United States have gone up so much this past year that even President Joe Biden started placing the famous "I Did That" Biden stickers on…
In Last Ditch Effort, Ukraine President Sends Armed Cats And Dogs To Fight Russians
KIEV, UKRAINE-- In a last ditch effort to push back the encroachment of the highly advanced Russian forces, the desperate president of Ukraine rounded up all the stray cats and…
US Government Replaces Statue Of Liberty With Statue Of Ukraine President Zelensky
WASHINGTON-- To honor the courageousness of Ukraine, the United States government has recently torn down the antiquated Statue of Liberty and replaced it with a statue of Ukraine's President Volodymyr…
Biden’s Approval Rating Rises Among The Key 150 To 200 Year Old Demographic
WASHINGTON-- After giving an unforgettable State of the Union Address, Joe Biden's approval rating among the 150 year old and up deceased crowd has jumped dramatically, signaling an assured victory…
Putin Arrests Peaceful Protesters And Freezes Their Bank Accounts, No Wait, That Was Trudeau
MOSCOW, RUSSIA-- President Vladimir Putin has recently been accused of using his violent police force to attack, arrest, and imprison peaceful protesters who disagreed with the way he had been…
Pfizer Breathes Sigh Of Relief As Americans Now Focused On Russia
NEW YORK, NEW YORK-- Drug company Pfizer has been doing the happy dance recently after news media outlets diverted American's attention away from the recent news of vaccine deaths and…
In Support Of Ukraine, Biden Says He’ll Only Take 8 Percent For The Big Guy
WASHINGTON-- In a rare and empathetic move to show support for Ukraine, Joe Biden said that he would only take an 8 percent cut of the profits from his son…
