WASHINGTON– In a last ditch effort to help her struggling campaign to get reelected, Liz Cheney has removed the human skin that was hiding her lizard face and has been putting out new political commercials aimed at Wyoming’s reptilian population.
Due to garnering very little support from actual human voters, the Republican Cheney decided to target the millions of reptiles living in Wyoming by both embracing and admitting to the world that she is in fact a shapeshifting reptilian alien hellbent on controlling the Earth and destroying humanity.
“Hi, I’m Liz Cheney, and I’m a shapeshifting reptilian humanoid who wants to drink your blood and control the world, so please vote for me,” said Cheney in her new commercial after extending her long tongue to catch a fly. “I’m asking all reptile species for your support in my upcoming reelection.
Cheney added, “Vote for me and together we will rule the world as the remaining humans become both our slaves and our tasty food.”
Cheney also asked her reptilian father Dick Cheney to come out from under his rock to say a few words to the reptilian community in an effort to defeat her Donald Trump-backed human candidate.
“In our nation’s 246-year history, humans have been the greatest threat to our existence,” said Dick Cheney as he feasted on the flesh of an innocent. “Vote for my daughter Liz to help increase the Cheney family’s record of causing death and destruction around the world.”
Fellow reptilian humanoids Barack Obama, George Bush, and Nancy Pelosi have also removed their human skin and then thrown their support behind Liz. According to a recent poll, 99 percent of people polled stated that Pelosi is now less grotesque without her wrinkled human skin.
I'm pretty sure that is the truth that is being told . Just look at her I've dispatched a lot of reptiles and that one I'd be very wary of , I don't think there is a repellent strong enough to buy you time to do it justice.