WASHINGTON– The White House has warned American citizens that a new virus called Russia-22 has overtaken the world and has been spreading quickly across the globe.
President Joe Biden promised everyone that we only need two weeks to slow the spread of Russian propaganda, just like they said about COVID over two years ago.
“Listen, folks, here’s the deal,” said Biden as he held up a Russia-22 statistics chart. “Now that our government has milked the COVID virus scam for all it’s worth and we’ve made billions, it’s time to move on to a new virus that’s suddenly been made up, I mean, organically happened and it’s even more deadly than the last virus we had that caused some people to sneeze a couple times.”
Experts are predicting that Russia is the new COVID and that fake news media outlets will be yammering on about Russia, Russia, Russia for the next two years now that COVID has lost steam and most people have awaken to the pandemic hoax.
“This new Russia-22 pandemic is much more deadly and contagious than COVID-19,” said Dr. Anthony Fauci, who’s now also an expert on military strategies. “My recommendations to protect yourself from Russia-22 are for you to stay home if you feel scared. If someone has tested positive for Russia-22 then report them immediately to the local authorities where they’ll be transported to a Russia-22 containment facility.”
Democrat governors are saying that they plan on reinstating their state emergency powers to safely deal with the Russia-22 virus and are suggesting that citizens comply with their upcoming lockdowns for everyone’s safety.
“We promise the lockdowns are only for two weeks to slow the spread of Russian propaganda,” said Gavin Newsom, governor of California. “We also promise that we’re not using the Russia hype as a way to further the Great Reset and usher in the social credit system, just like we did with the coronavirus.”
Drug company Pfizer put out a statement Thursday assuring everyone that by the end of next week they’ll already have a new vaccine to lessen the symptoms of Russia-22 propaganda. Sources claim Biden has already demanded that he will mandate the vaccine and anyone who doesn’t take the jab will be accused of being a Russian asset.
