LONDON, UK– In response to the UK’s mass immigration problem, Labour Party Prime Minister Keir Starmer appeared before the nation wearing a black silk blindfold over his eyes, vowing to “stop every single migrant boat crossing the English Channel that he sees.” Starmer claimed the unorthodox move was “a symbol of his unwavering commitment to border control in an effort to tackle the immigration crisis.”
Standing at a podium while blindfolded, Starmer held a press conference to address the nation on his promise to stop all illegal migrant crossings that he personally witnesses.
“I promise the people of Britain, I will not rest until I see not a single migrant boat touch our shores,” Keir Starmer declared behind the dark blindfold. “From this day forward, any illegal vessel that I, your Prime Minister, personally witness crossing this historic body of water will be stopped. My vigilance will be total. My gaze, unflinching. ”
While PM Starmer gave the press conference, over 3,000 migrants were spotted crossing the Channel, with many illegal invaders walking directly in front of the prime minister who said as soon as he sees them he’ll have them rounded up and deported out of the country immediately.
The move has been both praised and lambasted by Labour’s left-wing base, with some voters praising the prime minister’s proactive approach at tackling a problem, while others criticized him for being an “ableist” and mocking people who are visually-challenged.
When asked how he planned to enforce this policy while blindfolded, Starmer had the pesky news reporter immediately arrested and then thrown into prison for spreading disinformation.
