LONDON, ENGLAND– In a blatant display of intercontinental tyranny, Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney jetted off to London yesterday to meet with his UK counterpart, Keir Starmer to learn from the master himself how to accelerate Canada’s descent into authoritarianism and economic ruin.
Starmer has spent the past 18 months transforming the UK into a dystopian surveillance state and was more than happy to share his expertise with his Canadian counterpart.
“I’m flattered that Mark would seek my counsel,” Starmer said in a statement the following day. “My team and I have worked tirelessly to dismantle British democracy and usher in a globalist totalitarian hellscape, and we’re eager to help our friends in Ottawa do the same.”
Mark Carney has faced mounting criticism for his own draconian policies, including introducing a bill that would ban Canadians from the internet. The eager WEF puppet Carney was seen scribbling furiously in a notebook as Starmer outlined his “10-Step Plan to Destroy a Country.” Highlights included:
1. Arrest anyone who disagrees with you on social media.
2. Implement a national ID system to track every citizen’s movements.
3. Ban all forms of free speech that challenge your authority.
4. Replace local police with UN troops.
5. Confiscate all firearms to prevent resistance.
6. Force-feed veganism to the population to weaken them.
7. Replace traditional education with CRT and Islamic indoctrination.
8. Flood the country with unvetted immigrants to dilute the native population.
9. Nationalize all industries to control the means of production.
10. Declare yourself “Prime Minister for Life” and abolish elections.
When asked about the meeting, Carney’s office released a statement saying, “The Prime Minister is committed to learning from the best of the worst, and who better to learn from than the man who’s turned the UK into a totalitarian nightmare? We’re excited to implement these new strategies and watch Canada burn.”
Meanwhile, Starmer was overheard laughing maniacally as he boarded a private jet to Davos, where he’ll share his expertise with other globalist leaders. “It’s a brave new world, my friends,” he cackled. “And we’re just getting started.”
