WASHINGTON– In an astonishing display of ambition, Congressional Republicans have introduced a demanding new proposal to force lawmakers into a relentless 7-day work-year schedule, a move they describe as a “monumental sacrifice for the nation.”
During a press conference to discuss the fatiguing new work schedule, House Speaker Mike Johnson hailed the bold new 7-day work-year as a win for the American people being that Congress only presently works five days a year.
“It’s a tough job, but somebody has to do it,” groaned Mike Johnson, visibly fatigued from the mere thought of working a full week annually. “In an effort to get more accomplished, Republicans have proposed increasing our normal 5-day work-year to seven. Maybe this way we’ll be able to get President Trump’s agenda passed by at least the year 2550. I guess this will finally put to rest the notion that Congress is lazy and always on vacation.”
Democrats have slammed the proposal, claiming Republicans are playing partisan politics because there’s no way any Democrats will be able to work a full seven days a year.
Mike Johnson then ended the press conference by saying the proposal was headed to the committee to be voted on once everyone returns to Congress in 155-days.


