DENVER, COLORADO– Ever wonder how you can tell if someone is lying or not? A recent groundbreaking study out of the Denver Fabrication Studies Institute finally answers this age-old question and also gives future victims of liars a little insight on how to spot them.
The 22 year long study followed the everyday lives of hundreds of liars and the country’s top psychiatrists came to the ultimate conclusion that all liars have one very important thing in common.
“All liars lie,” explained head psychiatrist Dr. Samuel Loomis. “It took us quite a bit of time to figure this one out. My colleagues and I put our heads together and after 22 long painstaking years we finally came to this earth-shattering discovery.”
According to the research, 100 percent of the liars all lied and 100 percent of them also did not tell the truth.
Even though there are various degrees of lying, such as little white lies and big whoppers, Dr Loomis says that the size of the lie was inconsequential.
“No matter how big or small the lie,” Dr Loomis added as he kept eye contact and fidgeted with his hands, “the results were still the same. Every lying man, woman, and child somehow distorted the truth to make it appear as though it wasn’t a lie.
“The first 10 years of the study my colleagues and I didn’t even realize that we were being lied to. We simply surmised that these known pathological liars were telling us the truth. Fascinating.”
When asked what’s the best way to know if a liar is lying or merely not telling the truth, Dr. Loomis stated that the research is inconclusive and that he is petitioning President Trump for another $2 billion dollars in funding for further studies.
