LONDON, ENGLAND– In an effort to escape the UK’s new anti-free speech Online Safety Act, a 34-year-old British man named Nigel Gobbernob decided to set his internet’s VPN location to the less oppressive country of Afghanistan so that he could more freely browse the web.
Critics have slammed the suppressive “Great British Internet Lockdown” and the new law has sparked outrage among the majority of UK citizens, with Nigel leading the charge in what he calls “the most ironic workaround of the century.”
“Who would’ve thought Afghanistan had less censorship than here in the UK,” said Nigel to some patrons inside of a local pub. “I’ve grown tired of having to upload my bloody passport every time I want to watch a cat video. Thank you, Taliban, for giving me back my freedom of speech.”
Even though Afghanistan has strict internet controls, Nigel insists the UK has even outdone the Taliban regime’s ban on things like certain music and women’s education apps.
“In Afghanistan, if you don’t post certain pop music then you’re fine,” quipped Nigel, looking over his shoulder nervously. “But here in the UK I can get thrown in prison for a sarcastic tweet about the weather if Ofcom decides it was somehow psychologically harmful to someone.”
At publishing time, the UK had blocked Afghanistan after discovering citizens were using the country to bypass the Online Safety Act, forcing everyone to switch over to North Korea.
