KENYA, AFRICA– Thousands of Africans in a remote village in Kenya were left with extreme thirst after an elaborate rain dance failed to invoke water from a $300,000 water well provided by YouTuber Mr. Beast, who apparently took for granted that the natives already knew they had to simply pump the handle to extract the water from the deep underground aquifer.
Convinced that the shiny water hand pump handle was a “Western rain stick,” the local African shaman, bedecked in neon feathers and jingling beads, led the community to perform a vibrant festival of chants and dances, waiting for the water spirits to coax the water from out of the water well spout.
“Why no water come from White man’s well?” The angry shaman asked as he fell down to the ground in dehydration. “I’m starting to think this metal stick is no spirit wand, but a dirty trick from the White man. We dance, we sing, but still no water come. This is trick by White man Mr. Beast to make us look stupid and foolish.”
The shaman went on to say that if it wasn’t for White devils like Mr. Beast, Africans would still be living in a Wakanda paradise, with the weak but incensed crowd nodding in approval. They later agreed to kill the next White man who visited their village with insulting gifts like free water wells worth almost half of a million dollars.
Back in the United States, Mr. Beast faced massive backlash for spending millions of dollars to build water wells for poor Africans without teaching them how to pump a water handle, with thousands of angry leftists calling for the racist, far-right Nazi to be removed from YouTube immediately.
