PITTSBURGH, PENNSYLVANIA– An obese man has been taking a lot of heat on social media after a video was posted of him leaving a buffet-style restaurant without leaving a tip for the waiter he had just eaten alive.
According to multiple witnesses inside the restaurant, 42-year-old fat man Hoss Gordo was overheard complaining to staff that there was no more food left on the buffet table. That’s when Gordo proceeded to eat the waiter to fill up the rest of his stomach before callously waddling out of the front door without leaving a tip.
“I couldn’t believe my own eyes,” said a woman who was inside the restaurant sitting behind Gordo. “I was shocked after seeing that very large man walk out of the restaurant without leaving a tip for that poor, hardworking waiter he had just eaten. Those waiters depend on those tips to survive.”
When reporters caught up to Gordo at his house, the big guy said the reason he didn’t leave a tip was because the waiter failed to bring him any more drink refills once he was inside of his stomach.
“When I eat at a restaurant, I expect my glass to be refilled with soda at least 75 times,” explained Gordo as reporters began softening up to the big guy with the even bigger heart. “As soon as I finished eating the waiter I never saw him come back to my table again. I can’t afford to leave tips for subpar service in this horrible economy, with inflation the way it is.”
After the non-tipping story got picked up by mainstream media, reliable news source CNN stated that once Gordo has a bowel movement they plan on interviewing what’s left of the waiter to get his side of the story.
