NEW YORK, NEW YORK– In order to avoid another FBI raid on one of his properties, chess master Donald Trump quickly hung a very large sign that read “Epstein Island” on the front of Trump Tower after spotting agents on their way toward the building.
“Hurry up, put the sign out front,” said President Trump while laughing as him and his sons Don Jr. and Eric put up the Epstein Island sign. “Look at all those confused FBI agents down there scratching their heads not knowing whether they should barge in or not. This is future meme material.”
FBI agents quickly called off their raid of Trump Tower after mistakenly believing they were about to investigate Epstein Island, predictably turning a blind eye to all the corruption they thought was probably going on inside.
“I thought we already demolished Epstein Island to get rid of all the evidence?” Asked a confused FBI agent while staring at Trump Tower. “Well we better leave this Epstein place alone, we wouldn’t want to actually investigate any real crimes. C’mon, fellas, let’s get out of here, I hear we still have a few pairs of Trump’s used underwear back at the office that needs investigating.”
After quickly destroying Trump Tower to get rid of any possible Epstein client evidence, agents made their way back to the office where they put on Trump’s underwear while planning their next January 6 insurrection.
