WASHINGTON– In an effort to bring order to the United States, a black robed President Joe Biden executed an Order 66 identifying all MAGA Republicans as traitors to the Galactic White House and has sentenced them to be executed by the Pink-haired Army of the FBI.
“My patience has run thin with former President Trump and his band of ragtag rebels,” said Biden in a gravelly voice, slamming his fist against the podium. “To restore order to the galaxy, I have activated contingency order 66 against all fascist MAGA supporters and have sentenced them for execution.”
Biden’s order takes effect immediately and seeks singular rule over all civilization within the galaxy of America and anyone caught disobeying these orders by either seeking freedom, adhering to the Constitution, or attending Trump rallies will be swiftly executed on sight.
“Your feeble AR-15s are no match for the power of the dark side of my administration’s military,” said Biden threateningly as a few transgender soldiers put on a drag show behind him. “I will disarm and then destroy all rebel MAGA Republicans, which will give me power. Unlimited power!”
After forgetting the rest of his lines and crapping inside his black robe, the all-powerful Biden shook the wet feces down his hairy leg and then mumbled a few words incoherently before being escorted offstage by his nurse wife Jill.
