Luke Skywalker Posts Heartfelt Father’s Day Tribute To Man Who Cut Off His Hand
AHCH-TO — In a touching Father's Day social media post Sunday, Jedi…
Galactic Inflation Hits Hard As Single Portion Of Blue Milk Now Costs 45 Credits
MOS EISLEY, TATOOINE — Families across the Outer Rim are waking up…
King Charles Presents Trump With Gift Of Keir Starmer Frozen In Carbonite
WASHINGTON — In a grand gesture aimed at reaffirming the Special Relationship…
Emperor Palpatine Demands Luke Skywalker Kiss Death Star Wall To Show His Fealty
CORUSCANT, GALACTIC EMPIRE-- In order to ensure the unwavering loyalty of all…
Dallas ICE Shooter With Terrible Aim Revealed As Stormtrooper
DALLAS. TEXAS-- Only hours after the incident occurred, authorities have confirmed that…
Emperor Palpatine Calls For Peace After Death Star Blows Up Alderaan
CORE WORLDS-- After blowing up the planet Alderaan, Emperor Palpatine took to…
Emperor-Appointed Judge Orders Rebel Alliance Not To Destroy Death Star
CORUSCANT-- The Rebel Alliance were forced to cease operations and leave the…
DOGE Team Discovers Galactic Empire Was Being Funded By USAID
WASHINGTON-- While auditing the United States Agency For International Development, Elon Musk's…
‘Star Wars: The Acolyte’ Under Fire For Not Hiring Any Trans, Disabled, One-Eyed, Pansexual Wookiees
HOLLYWOOD-- In an effort to be as inclusive and progressive as possible,…
Chewbacca Furious At Barber After Saying Only Take A Little Off The Top
MOS EISLEY-- While waiting at the Mos Eisley spaceport on Tatooine, Wookiee…
Brazil’s Alexandre de Moraes Dons Helmet And Sword To Try To Appear Less Menacing
BRASÍLIA, BRAZIL-- After flexing his authoritarian muscles and getting accused by millions…
Top 10 Fake News Stories Of 2023: Daily Soak Edition
WORLD-- With 2023 coming to a close and the line between what's…