WASHINGTON– The world-famous COVID virus has been reported to be in critical condition after getting infected with First Lady Jill Biden, with numerous medical experts predicting that the lovable virus may not survive the deadly illness.
COVID claims it began feeling ill after mistakenly walking by the White House and getting groped by Jill, immediately admitting itself into the ICU once it realized the deadliness of the First Lady.
“We’re doing all we can to try and save COVID’s life,” said Dr. Phil Myanus to reporters in reference to the coronavirus’s condition. “As soon as Mr. COVID became infected with Jill Biden it began vomiting profusely, especially after she began rubbing its spike glycoproteins amorously.”
Some medical experts defended Jill, saying she was just lonely and seeking affection from COVID being that she was recently dumped by the White House Easter Bunny whom she was spending a lot of time with because her husband President Joe Biden spends most of his day crapping, sleeping, and sniffing.
Numerous famous celebrities voiced their support for COVID on Twitter. A GoFundMe page has already been started to help pay for COVID’s astronomical medical expenses.
“Curing someone of Jill Biden doesn’t come cheap unfortunately,” said Dr. Phil Myanus as COVID was getting prepped for surgery to have its genitals removed as part of its transition. “Fortunately, the only way to cure COVID is to perform an immediate sex change operation. Only then will I have enough Twitter clout to possibly make it to 200,000 followers.”
