Hillary Clinton Graces This Month’s Cover Of ‘Cankles Magazine’
U.S.-- In what some are calling a display of raw unorthodox beauty, former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has bared it all from the thighs down inside the latest edition…
Prince Harry Grows Frustrated Begging Wife Meghan To Start Leaving Toilet Seat Down
SANTA BARBARA, CALIFORNIA-- Prince Harry confided in friends that he's been growing increasingly weary of his American wife Meghan Markle constantly leaving the toilet seat up inside their $15 million…
In Honor Of Labor Day, Biden Allows Each Family To Share One Meatless Hot Dog
WASHINGTON-- In honor of all the people who lost their jobs under his administration, President Joe Biden has graciously allowed every American family to share one meatless hot dog in…
Biden Cooks BBQed MAGA Republicans In Celebration Of Labor Day
WASHINGTON-- In an effort to unify the country, President Joe Biden celebrated the Labor Day holiday by cooking up BBQed MAGA Republicans on the White House lawn and gave a…
Predator Child Tells Mom There’s A Scary Nancy Pelosi Monster Hiding Under His Bed
YAUTJA PRIME-- Many young children are scared believing that there's monsters living in their bedrooms at night. But in the case of a young predator alien, there really was an…
Media Praises Biden For Executing MAGA Republican During Riveting Speech
WASHINGTON-- President Joe Biden is being heralded as a hero by mainstream media outlets for his execution of a MAGA Republican during his recent speech, with some leftwing political pundits…
Black-Robed Biden Executes Order 66 On MAGA Republicans During Impassioned Speech
WASHINGTON-- In an effort to bring order to the United States, a black robed President Joe Biden executed an Order 66 identifying all MAGA Republicans as traitors to the Galactic…
FBI Fires Agent Fox Mulder For Seeking The Truth
WASHINGTON-- After spending his entire career searching for the truth, Special Agent Fox Mulder was officially terminated by the FBI and has already been replaced by a pink-haired, evidence-destroying diversity hire.…
Democrat Turnout Will Be Huge This Upcoming Election, Reports Expert Mortician
PHOENIX, ARIZONA-- With the upcoming November elections, many political pundits are predicting a very high amount of Republicans going to the polls. "But that's simply not true," refutes a mortician…
5-Year-Old Son Accused Of Leaving 39-Year-Old Dad Inside Hot Car For Three Weeks
AUSTIN, TEXAS-- A 5-year-old boy has been accused of leaving his almost 40-year-old father inside of a hot car during the summer Texas heat for over three weeks while he…
DOJ Drops All Charges Against Trump After He Tells Them He Identifies As A Democrat
WASHINGTON-- The US Department of Justice has officially dropped all charges against Donald Trump and will no longer be investigating him after the president informed them that he now identifies…
400 Pound Pop Star Lardo Is The Epitome Of Beauty And Health, Says Vogue Magazine
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA-- Gracing this month's cover of Vogue magazine is famous plus-size musician Lardo, whom fashion writers are calling "the most beautiful, fit, and healthiest woman on the planet."…
