WASHINGTON– For the third year in a row, the White House has confirmed that Joe Biden will be enjoying the Halloween festivities by dressing up as a real president of the United States, and will be addressing himself as “President Biden” whenever a little child knocks on the inside of his door trying to escape from the Oval Office.
Even though Biden pretends to be president all year long, he says that on Halloween he won’t have to rig an election to get to play commander-in-chief.
“Yes, Joe Biden will be pretending to be a real president this Halloween,” said Karine Jean-Pierre, White House Press Secretary. “Although everyone knows that Biden’s not the real legitimate president, he’s asking that people please respect his wishes and let him pretend for one day that he actually did win the 2020 presidential election fair and square without having to be installed through cheating.”
Various world leaders have already stated that they will humor Biden by also pretending he’s the real American president and not Donald Trump, promising that they’ll try as hard as they can not to laugh behind his back for one day out of the year like they do every other day.
Biden has already picked out his presidential-looking Halloween costume, saying he’s looking forward to the one day out of the year that he can legitimately pretend to be something he’s not.
“Maybe now all those little girls will let me sniff them without turning away from me and crying,” said Biden as he brushed his nose hairs. “I’m sure those kids won’t mind getting fondled by a man pretending to have real power.”
Sources have confirmed that First Lady Jill will also be dressing up for Halloween as a real First Lady and devoted wife.
