China Appoints Mark Carney Provincial Party Secretary Of Canada
BEIJING, CHINA — In a move described by state media as largely…
Tim Walz Relieved After Seeing Polymarket Odds Of Pam Bondi Arresting Him Are Basically Zero
ST. PAUL, MINNESOTA — Minnesota Governor Tim Walz was seen letting out…
Worried Canadians Hold Intervention For Family Member Still Doing ‘Elbows Up’
TORONTO, CANADA — Concerned Canadian relatives gathered quietly in a semi circle…
IRS Reminds Paid ICE Protesters Earnings Still Count As Taxable Income
WASHINGTON — The Internal Revenue Service (IRS) issued a gentle but firm…
Heartbreaking News: 54-Year-Old Justin Trudeau Found Alive And Well At Davos
DAVOS, SWITZERLAND — In devastating news that has left the Great White…
Pam Bondi Fears Arresting Criminals Might Set Dangerous Precedent Of Consequences
WASHINGTON — Attorney General Pam Bondi reportedly warned Americans this week that…
UK Sends Elite Soldier To Defend Greenland Against The US
NUUK, GREENLAND. In what British officials described as a clear demonstration of…
Denmark Threatens Salty Licorice Embargo On U.S. Over Greenland Dispute
COPENHAGEN, DENMARK — Escalating tensions with the United States over President Donald…
Gavin Newsom Flees California For Davos, Citing Unlivable Conditions Created By Current Governor
DAVOS, SWITZERLAND — California Governor Gavin Newsom confirmed Tuesday that he has…
Gavin Newsom Traumatically Disturbed By Nightmare Where He Took Responsibility For Something
SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA — Visibly frightened and shaking uncontrollably, California Governor Gavin Newsom…
Mark Carney Successfully Trades Canada’s Entire Auto Industry For Free Egg Roll And Wonton Soup
OTTAWA, CANADA-- Prime Minister Mark Carney triumphantly returned from Beijing this week,…
Congress Declares ‘Swamp Drained’ After Passing $2 DOGE Budget Cut
WASHINGTON-- Cheers erupted across Capitol Hill Thursday as Congress triumphantly declared the…