WASHINGTON—Citing a desperate need for clarity in the medical field, President Donald Trump signed an executive order Tuesday mandating that every physician in the United States immediately abandon lab coats, scrubs, and surgical gowns in favor of a flowing white robe and bright red sash, coming coincidentally after the President faced backlash over a now-deleted AI image.
The order, titled Restoring Confidence In American Medicine Through Better Wardrobe Choices, mandates that hospitals nationwide transition to the new uniform within 30 days, citing what the administration called widespread confusion among patients about who is healing them and how dramatically.
“For too long, our doctors have looked terrible, walking around in cheap blue pajamas,” Trump told reporters during the signing ceremony in the Oval Office, surrounded by doctors wearing the new robes and sashes. “People want to see strength, they want to see confidence. The white robe breathes beautifully, and the red sash? That’s where you keep the stethoscopes and the bandages. Everyone knows that. Frankly, the fake news media wants you to think doctors don’t wear sashes. Not true.”
White House officials have aggressively defended the mandate, denying that it had anything to do with the widely circulated image the president posted depicting himself in a similar outfit while appearing to perform a miracle.
At press time, Trump was reportedly already drafting a follow-up executive order to address a separate deleted image from last week, mandating that all U.S. military generals must immediately begin riding into battle on the backs of giant, majestic bald eagles, just as he claims they did at Gettysburg.
