WASHINGTON — Chaos erupted outside the White House gates as thousands of “No Kings” protesters gathered to denounce the “monarchical tyranny” of President Trump, while making it abundantly clear that they are not opposed to the actual British king who was, at that very moment, being given a state dinner inside the building.
The demonstrators chanted slogans such as “Not My King!” and “Trump Thinks He’s Royalty!” while King Charles III of the United Kingdom toured the Rose Garden mere yards away, who is legally entitled to a literal throne, several castles, and the divine right to rule. When confronted, the protesters were quick to clarify that their grievances were directed solely at Trump and not with the man who was actual royalty.
“We are here to remind Donald Trump that he is not a king,” shouted a protest organizer, who clarified that their group was not protesting the real king. “Trump acts like he’s above the law, like he’s a king or something. We are not here to protest King Charles. He’s a legitimate monarch. We have no problem with actual royalty and unelected leaders.”
The protester went on to say that they just wanted the King to be aware that they weren’t protesting him by bowing down to the British monarch while singing an awkward rendition of “God Save The King.”
As of press time, the “No Kings” coalition announced plans for a follow-up demonstration next week outside Buckingham Palace to protest Trump, provided they can secure the proper royal permits.
