ATLANTA, GEORGIA– Mainstream news media outlet CNN has recently released a live on-air retraction and apology after mistakenly reporting a real news story.
During last night’s news broadcast of ratings juggernaut CNN The Lead, perspiring host Jake Tapper took to the airwaves to issue an apology for having a guest on his program that he says wrongly gave accurate information.
Tapper delivered an honest statement during the opening monologue of his show, stating that CNN usually screens all of their guests and also their stories first to make certain that the information is false and misleading.
“I would like to take this opportunity to apologize,” Tapper started to say as sweat poured down his makeup-covered face like a river. “It was not our intention to report actual facts and honest reporting. It takes a real honest network like CNN to actually admit that we made a mistake.”
This isn’t the first time that CNN has come under fire for telling the truth. Last year, CNN Tonight host Don Lemon received backlash after having a guest on his program who said that President Donald Trump’s rally supporters were real and not mannequins.
Many of Jake Tapper’s colleagues came to his defense by congratulating him on Twitter X for being honest about accidentally reporting real news and that his perspiration problem is a true sign of integrity.
“It takes a big, truthful man to admit in front of the world that he shouldn’t have reported real news,” Kaitlan Collins posted, host of This Morning. “I personally make sure that every one of my guests is well aware of our script before going live. Don’t sweat it, Jake.”
“Never let them see you sweat, Jake,” posted Anderson Cooper of news show Anderson Cooper 360°. “Most people don’t know this, but Jake wears diapers under his armpits.”
The Situation Room host Wolf Blitzer added that perhaps if more news hosts sweated as profusely as Jake does then maybe they’d get taken more seriously.
“I don’t see Fox News hosts like Jesse Watters offering soaking wet news retractions like Jake did,” Wolf posted with an attached meme of Jake running on a treadmill. “The day we at CNN report real news is the day that Jake’s glandular issues become an internet meme.”
