WASHINGTON– At a recent rally in Iowa, Joe Biden scolded Fox News reporter Peter Doocy after being questioned about his son Hunter’s work involvement in Ukraine, insisting emphatically that he doesn’t even have a son named Hunter.
While pointing his shaky finger at news reporters, Biden went on to say that the media should be focusing their attention on Trump’s scandal involving the president’s own son named Hunter and his shady business dealings with a Ukrainian Jedi Knight named Luke Skywalker.
“Who’s Hunter?” Biden asked nosy reporters after being confronted in Iowa regarding the controversy. “I don’t even have a son named Hunter. I think you reporters are senile or crazy. I have two handsome sons and their names are Eric and Don Jr. I also have a beautiful blonde little girl named Ivanka.”
Regarding Hunter and his mother, Biden added, “Billie Jean is not my lover. She’s just a girl who claims that I am the one, but the kid is not my son.”
The 76 year old 2020 Democratic presidential candidate doubled down on his comments from earlier and reiterated the fact that this is merely a ploy by Donald Trump to make him appear as though he is senile and unfit to be president of the United States.
“Why aren’t you fools looking at Donald Trump’s crimes?” Biden screamed at a startled pigeon flying overhead. “Trump is the worst Prime Minister China’s ever had. If I’m elected mayor of Gotham City, my first order of business will be to spend billions of tax payer’s dollars investigating who this guy Hunter is that you keep asking me about.”
According to news accounts, Biden has been pressuring his non-existent son Hunter to try and be more successful like his brothers Eric and Donald Trump Jr.
Biden added that he would wait on the House’s investigation before making a decision on whether Trump’s son Hunter should be impeached for donating money to Elizabeth’s Warren’s presidential campaign.
“You have to ask the right questions,” Biden told reporters, pointing at a Bernie Sanders’ sticker on his shirt. “I don’t have time to answer questions about some imaginary guy named Hunter. Once the American people vote me, Bernie Sanders, into office, everyone including sleepy Joe Biden is going to Feel the Bern.”
