NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK– The tearful hosts of the Fox News morning program Fox & Friends were reportedly very distraught and in need of a safe space after having to read live on air Donald Trump’s new poll numbers, which show the president surging in the polls and gaining a thirty to forty point lead over Governor Ron DeSantis.
Fox & Friends host Brian Kilmeade was visibly shaken and gasping for air as his two sobbing cohosts watched in horror as the new poll numbers showed Trump’s popularity only increasing after the threat of his arrest, and now has a commanding lead over DeSantis who recently campaigned to win reelection as governor of Florida so that only a few months later he could maybe, possibly, kind of run for president.
“These, uh, new polls, oh man, they show Trump…I can’t even read this,” said Fox & Friends host Steve Doocy with tears in his eyes as he read the stats from a piece of paper. “I, I, can’t believe this. Not only did Trump not lose any momentum, but he actually gained in the polls. No, say this isn’t so. Our boss Paul Ryan said we’re not supposed to talk about Trump positively anymore, but I can’t think of a way to spin this one.”
After Doocy wiped his tears and ran off the set to go sit inside of the official Fox News Trump-free safe zone, cohost Kilmeade adjusted his earpiece to hear better what Paul Ryan wanted him to say and then began reading the new modified poll numbers.
“Our producers have informed me that we made a slight error in the previous poll numbers,” said Kilmeade as Ainsley Earhardt began crossing and uncrossing her legs so viewers wouldn’t realize Fox changed the poll numbers. “According to the corrected poll, it looks as though Governor Ron DeSantis is in the lead with a whopping 90 percent support. And coming in second place is Ron DeSantis with 6 percent, with third place going to Ron DeSantis with 4 percent.”
The new adjusted Fox News poll that now shows DeSantis in the lead was conducted in person and questioned numerous RINO Republicans nationwide, including Paul Ryan, Karl Rove, and Jeb Bush.
