WASHINGTON– Sources close to the White House have confirmed that Joe Biden has been quite envious of all the time that China’s President Xi Jinping has been spending with his new friend Russian President Vladimir Putin, being that Biden had always been Xi’s favorite pet and had given Joe most of the attention over the years.
While crying into his Mike Lindell MyPillow pillow, Biden slammed his wrinkled hand against the Resolute Desk and confided to his caretaker wife Jill that he was always Xi’s chosen one to do everything that the Chinese president wanted and couldn’t understand how he could get dumped so easily.
“Was it something I said?” Biden asked in reference to Xi kicking him to the curb for a new man. “I did everything my Xi baby wanted, like cheat Trump out of office, destroy America, and sell him our secrets, and then after Xi got what he wanted he dumps me. I’m never coming out of my room again.”
Jill tried consoling her husband Joe by telling him that there’s plenty of other dictators in the sea and that maybe he’ll find another ruthless leader who’ll pay him off to do their bidding.
After the stalker Biden called Xi hundreds of times on the phone to try and get back together, the Chinese president filed a restraining order against Joe and then changed his phone number and afterwards updated his Facebook profile status from “Separated” to “In A Relationship.”
