Canadian Government Holds Emergency Meeting To Figure Out How To Blame Trump For Hockey Loss
OTTAWA, CANADA — In what Canadian officials described as a national narrative…
Supreme Court Rules U.S. Men’s Hockey Team Banned From Scoring Against Canada
WASHINGTON — In a landmark 6 to 3 decision, the U.S. Supreme…
Iran Joins Democrat Party So They Can Commit Crimes Without Consequences
TEHRAN, IRAN — Iran officially announced Friday that it has joined the…
California Solves Double Voting Fraud By Legalizing Triple Voting Fraud
SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA — In a bold reimagining of election integrity, the State…
America Celebrates ‘Hillary And Kamala Still Not Presidents Day’
U.S. — Millions of Americans gathered Monday to observe this year's "Hillary…
Congressman Shri Thanedar Pauses Immigration Hearing To Sell ICE Director Extended Warranty On His 2005 Honda Civic
WASHINGTON — In a bizarre exchange during today's highly anticipated Immigration hearings,…
Congress Holds Epstein’s Pilot In Contempt For Refusing To Answer Any Questions
WASHINGTON — A tense congressional hearing erupted into outrage Thursday after Congress…
Team USA Olympic Athletes Request Asylum In Communist China To Escape Oppression Of American Freedom
ITALY — In a dramatic mid-Games development, several members of Team USA…
Washington Post Articles Improve Dramatically After Laid Off Writers Replaced With Monkeys
WASHINGTON — In a bold restructuring move described by upper management as…
Tim Walz Calls For 10-Day Waiting Period For Apple Cider Vinegar Purchases After Omar Incident
ST. PAUL, MINNESOTA — Minnesota Governor Tim Walz announced Thursday that he…
Celebrities Declare ‘Democracy Dead’ After Being Forced To Vacuum Own Homes Following Deportations
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA — Democracy itself was pronounced officially "dead" Thursday after…
Ilhan Omar Distracts From Daycare Fraud Scandal With Winery Fraud Scandal
MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA — In what's being called a Somalian 4D chess move,…